Anger Management Counseling Therapy | Transform Anger Course

If you are working towards controlling your anger, here are a few tips you can practice putting in action the next time you are struggling.

1. Take a timeout. Taking time to think before you speak can help you avoid saying things you later regret, as well as regroup to figure out how to express your frustrations constructively. This doesn’t mean you’re avoiding difficult subjects. It is just a way for you to manage your anger and allow you to rejoin and discuss when you’re feeling calmer.
2. Use “I” statements to describe problems. Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements helps avoid blaming and increasing already high tensions in the room.
3. Get some exercise. Going for a run or hitting the gym can help alleviate extra tension and release’ feel-good’ chemicals in your brain.
4. Talk to a friend. Use this strategy carefully. Expressing feelings to someone often has a calming effect, but venting too much can sometimes fuel the fire instead of putting it out. Make sure to stay solution-focused when talking to a friend, or it may even be beneficial to talk about something other than the frustrating situation you’re going through.
5. Use relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, writing in a journal, using imagery, practicing muscle relaxation, or listening to music can all help lower your blood pressure and put you in a more relaxed mood.
6. Forgive! Holding a grudge hurts you the most. It doesn’t let you release the feelings of frustration, injustice, or bitterness. Still, suppose you let it go (which does not by any means mean to excuse the behavior). In that case, it allows you the opportunity to learn from the situation and even strengthen relationships.
7. Learn your triggers & change your environment. By understanding your triggers, you can learn how to avoid them or make changes to adjust, so they affect you less. For example, if driving during rush hour always frustrates you, you can try adjusting your schedule to drive during a less busy time or even take the bus.
8. Reset the way you think. Cognitive restructuring is a technique where you practice changing the way you think. The American Psychological Association says, “When you’re angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones.” Doing so involves avoiding words like “never” and “always,” using logic to diffuse anger, and translating expectations into desires.“ For instance, instead of telling yourself, ‘oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined,’ tell yourself, ‘it’s frustrating, and, understandably, I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.’”
9. Focus on problem-solving. Making a plan on how to confront a situation can give you a sense of relief that progress is being made on the issue, increasing your patience in many cases where you previously became angry.
10. Use ‘silly’ humor. Humor generates a more balanced perspective and defuses rage. For example, if you want to call someone a name, picture what they literally would look like if they were what you called them. The APA gives an example of this when they say, “If you’re at work and you think of a coworker as a “dirtbag” or a “single-cell life form,” for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague’s desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings.”